Craigslist Way Too Personals

                        CRAIGSLIST PERSONALS LOSER OF THE WEEK ==================================================== Guy who can offer nothing is looking for someone with something. He even had to sell his car to get “where he’s at.” Well where the f*ck were you before? Anyway, if you are falling in love with his dreamy Latino R&B face and do happen to fit the critieria you should definitely respond to this guy. What’s a critieria? I have no idea, I don’t speak Spanish.

                        CRAIGSLIST PERSONALS LOSER OF THE WEEK

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Guy who can offer nothing is looking for someone with something. He even had to sell his car to get “where he’s at.” Well where the f*ck were you before? Anyway, if you are falling in love with his dreamy Latino R&B face and do happen to fit the critieria you should definitely respond to this guy. What’s a critieria? I have no idea, I don’t speak Spanish.

===================================================== This has to be the record for most tags in a post. This guy could of saved a lot of time by just using the tag, “ANYBODY”…and maybe a “please.” Also, probably not too wise to use your headshot from Meganslaw.com.

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This has to be the record for most tags in a post. This guy could of saved a lot of time by just using the tag, “ANYBODY”…and maybe a “please.” Also, probably not too wise to use your headshot from Meganslaw.com.

====================================================== Seems a little counter productive doesn’t it? Well excuse me, I’m going to hang out by my microwave and try to cure cancer.

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Seems a little counter productive doesn’t it? Well excuse me, I’m going to hang out by my microwave and try to cure cancer.

======================================================= “Hey there….so I’m a bit of a bad boy.” Oh really? Wow that’s crazy because I saw your tie that’s too short for your torso and thought, “whoa, this guy is really hardcore.” Come on Chad (I’m assuming that’s your Anglo-saxon name) being arrested for driving on a suspended license is about as badass as me sneaking seconds from a supermarket food display. With that said I find it hard to believe you had a car to start with you pedal-pusher. Go give your brother his tie back he needs it for his Jr. High graduation.  Sincerely, Guy who’s not a cop but still doesn’t like you

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“Hey there….so I’m a bit of a bad boy.” Oh really? Wow that’s crazy because I saw your tie that’s too short for your torso and thought, “whoa, this guy is really hardcore.” Come on Chad (I’m assuming that’s your Anglo-saxon name) being arrested for driving on a suspended license is about as badass as me sneaking seconds from a supermarket food display. With that said I find it hard to believe you had a car to start with you pedal-pusher. Go give your brother his tie back he needs it for his Jr. High graduation. 

Sincerely,

Guy who’s not a cop but still doesn’t like you

===================================================== This guy has a before body.

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This guy has a before body.

=================================================== “Pshhh!!! Oh it’s like dat den?? Whatev…whatev.”

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“Pshhh!!! Oh it’s like dat den?? Whatev…whatev.”

===================================================== Mel, bro… I would strongly advise not to get another DUI. That last one wasn’t so great for your career after you cursed that group of people who happen to pretty much control the industry you work in. You know, the “J-O-O’s”.

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Mel, bro… I would strongly advise not to get another DUI. That last one wasn’t so great for your career after you cursed that group of people who happen to pretty much control the industry you work in. You know, the “J-O-O’s”.

====================================================== “Yes, he gave me AIDS but he also gave me this super cool Galaxy tablet from Samsung. It does everything a computer can do and maybe more!”  - Commercials you’ll never see from AT&T.

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“Yes, he gave me AIDS but he also gave me this super cool Galaxy tablet from Samsung. It does everything a computer can do and maybe more!”  - Commercials you’ll never see from AT&T.

===================================================== “I’m sorry, I only do fully clothed vagina modeling.” -Some chick

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“I’m sorry, I only do fully clothed vagina modeling.” -Some chick

=================================================== “Hi, I’m a baby boomer and a single father who is back on the prowl. I used all of my retirement to buy a closet full of Tommy Bahama shirts and a used 1996 mustang convertible that was previously owned by a 23 year-old chick who dropped out of community college. Would love to hear from you sometime, catch ya on the flipside.”  -Wayne

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“Hi, I’m a baby boomer and a single father who is back on the prowl. I used all of my retirement to buy a closet full of Tommy Bahama shirts and a used 1996 mustang convertible that was previously owned by a 23 year-old chick who dropped out of community college. Would love to hear from you sometime, catch ya on the flipside.”

 -Wayne